We were working hard, but Daniel’s business wasn’t making enough money. We had a pile of medical bills, a gorilla sized student loan, and threatening foreclosure letters. A mortgage company employee secretly took photos of our beige bricked home to ensure we hadn’t abandoned the property. We were stretching our money to keep three kids under the age of six clothed and fed.
I wondered if God was going to provide a way out of our mess. If nothing changed then we would be foreclosed upon and be homeless. I felt trapped, because we couldn’t afford to sell the house or pay the mortgage. I couldn’t tell people what was going on, because I was ashamed of our failures. We lived in our own private suffering.
If God is real, then why wasn’t He providing a way of escape? The Bible says in Matthew 6 and in many other verses God will provide and He cares about me. I realized I had a choice to make. I had to choose if I believed the Bible was true, because if I didn’t believe the Bible then I couldn’t be a Christian. My twenty years as a Christian would’ve been pointless. I chose to have faith even though I couldn’t see how God would answer.
My faith in a loving God who cares for me was shaken. I was spiritually weak and didn’t have a lot of strength to fight the depressing thoughts of feeling trapped and alone. I was tired of praying and listing out my prayer requests. All I could do was repeat over and over “God is good and He is faithful.” I would mumble it under my breath when I was alone. Each day I’d repeat it again, “God is good and He is faithful.” This phrase became my walking cane as I stepped slowly back to spiritual health.
We began looking for a way out of our financial trap. We sold anything of value, Daniel started working two jobs, and we watched our spending like a hawk. We focused on paying off the debt. Volunteer ministry work at church was put aside. We had to quit commitments to free up time to work on our debt. By God’s grace eight months later we paid off $68,000 of debt. Then the money we used to put towards debt went towards fixing the house to sell it. We eventually sold the house and moved on to a new life.
God is good and He is faithful.
Perhaps you are in a place where you aren’t sure God cares or you are wondering why God isn’t answering your prayers. Remember His promises in the Bible. Ask God to show you a promise or a verse you can cling to on the hard days. It doesn’t have to be a complicated verse or word. Even if your only prayer is simply stating His characteristics He will hear you. Believe. Have faith. Because God is good and He is faithful.