Today I’m wrapping up my series on Building a Great Marriage.  

I began the series, because I know a few couples getting married and my church is talking about marriage. Marriage is one of the best things I’ve ever experienced. I am so grateful for Daniel and the life we have together. We have a blast and love spending time together. I know first hand marriage can be wonderful and a lot of fun.

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The Old Couple at Boccone’s

When Daniel and I were engaged we’d go to this quirky Italian restaurant called Boccone’s. The walls were covered with greenery and painted frescos with cartoonish characters. Hung above the white linen tables were all sorts of random art pieces including a replica Leonardo da Vinci flying machine. On the weekends a live band played in a tiny stage. Daniel would spin me around as we danced to the music. Occasionally, we’d earn an applause from guests eating their lasagna.

One evening we caught the eye of an older couple and we told them we were recently engaged. Over the next few songs they scribbled down a list of advice for marriage. We kindly thanked them and read their wisdom. I didn’t understand their enthusiasm at the time. Now I know they loved being married and were eager to pass along their knowledge to the cute dancing couple.

7 Tools and Words of Encouragement for Newly Married Couples

Just like the old married couple at Boccone’s I thought about what marriage advice I’d give a couple getting married.

I’ve already written about love languages, forgiveness, respect, dreaming, magic, money, and prayer. Other than what I’ve written, here are seven tools and words of encouragement for a couple beginning their marriage.

  1. When having a discussion use the phrase “What I’m hearing you say is…” Listen to your spouse without interruption. When they are done say “What I’m hearing you say is…” and repeat back to them what you think you heard. Then they have a chance to clarify what they said. This is huge and helps communication very much.
  1. After God, your spouse is your priority above your kids, ministry, and extended family. Save energy and time to enjoy being with your spouse.
  1. If the husband is praying and seeking the Lord, then let him lead. He can’t lead if the wife is walking in his shoes.

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  1. Wives make your home peaceful as much as you can. Make your home a sanctuary for your family. Courtney Joseph at Women Living Well has this post and this post about making your home a haven.
  1. Don’t let media or culture tell you how your marriage should work. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Only you gets to figure out what works for your marriage together.
  1. Limit your commitments for a season. In the Old Testament soldiers would take a year off from war after they got married (Deuteronomy 24:5). Consider limiting commitments your first year of marriage. If your marriage is going through a rough patch, then stop commitments and fix your marriage. Everything else can wait and other people will understand. 
  1. Have fun together! This is by far one of the best things you can do together. There may be seasons of intense ministry or hustle, but always make time to enjoy one another’s company. It doesn’t require a babysitter. Having fun only requires being present in the moment.

Thank you for reading through my series on marriage! I’ve heard in person how it’s helped a few people. Thank you so much. If you want to share this series, then you can find all my posts in spot at this page.  

What advice would you give a couple getting married?